A few weeks ago, my agent emailed me with the news that another publisher rejected one of my manuscripts. It was a nice rejection (the book “had a lot to recommend”), but a rejection all the same.
I took the rejection hard. It hurt. A lot.
Maybe because it was right before Christmas. Maybe because I had been praying and shopping and hoping about this particular book for a long time. Maybe because I’ve been waiting and trying to break into fiction writing for a very long time.
Maybe all of those things or none of those things. It all boiled down to the cold, hard fact that this book still didn’t have a home. And that made me sad.
It also made me question whether romantic suspense writing was for me, that I was destined to write but for an audience of none. Yes, I’m well aware that I could go indie, but for me, right now, that’s not what I need to be for a host of reasons I won’t identify. That’s not where my heart is for my fiction writing—and if I’ve learned anything as a writer, it’s not to do projects without your heart engaged.
It’s your heart that keeps you going when the going gets tough, and it was my heart that had been bruised by this most recent rejection. For a while, I wasn’t sure I even wanted to continue working on my fiction writing.
Then I realized that would never do. I can’t not write. To me, writing is as essential as living and breathing. I write something every day. Some days, it’s for clients related to my freelance writing career. Other days, it’s writing for my two blogs. Sometimes, it’s parenting articles or answering questions on parentguru.com. But writing is my life.
Today, I’m still a bit bruised, still a bit sad, still trying to recover my hope for a published future for this book. But when the sun goes down each day, I know I haven’t completely lost my way because I’m still a writer at heart.
Jared managed to catch Mary’s upper body before she hit the floor. But his left leg gave out from the added weight, and he dropped to his knees, holding her head and shoulders on his lap. He leaned over and snagged her cell phone to call 911, but a voice shouting from the phone halted his movement.
He put the phone to his ear. “Hello?”
“Mary?” A woman asked.
Jared looked at Mary cradled in his lap, her eyelids fluttering. “Who is this?”
“Sylvia, David’s sister.” Sylvia cleared her throat. “Who are you?”
He gripped the phone. “Mary fainted. What did you say to her?” He eased Mary off of his lap onto the floor and then pulled himself up, his feet crushing the wildflowers.
The woman sniffled. “Is she okay?”
“She will be. Tell me what happened.” Holding the phone to his hear, he dashed over to the sink for a glass of water.
“There was a car accident, on the way to airport. I just heard from the police that David, he, a tractor-trailer crashed into his car and—” Sylvia broke down into sobs.
If Jared wasn’t worried about Mary, he would have enjoyed Sylvia’s performance more. She had the tone down, the little quiver in her voice. She played her part very convincingly. If he didn’t know David Kline was a phony, he would believe every syllable. But he had to convince Sylvia he did believe what she was saying not to tip her off that someone was wise to their scheme. He filled a glass with water from the kitchen sink and then grabbed a throw pillow from the living room couch on his way back to Mary.
Slipping the pillow under Mary’s head, he injected anxiety into his voice when he asked, “Is he all right?”
“David didn’t make it.” Sylvia wailed. “I don’t know what to do.”
Mary stirred and opened her eyes. “Jared?”
He stroked her hair with his free hand. “I’m sure Mary will want details when she’s recovered from the shock. Can she reach you at this number?”
“Yes.” The woman blew her nose. “I’m glad she has somebody with her at this time. Tell her I’ll call her tomorrow, but she can reach me anytime.”
Jared ended the conversation and gazed down into Mary’s bewildered eyes as they filled with tears. She whispered, “Is he really dead?”
Nodding, he gathered her in his arms and began to sing softly. “Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb, Mary had a little lamb it’s fleece was white as snow.” He sang nonsensical nursery rhymes while she sobbed in his arms. This wasn’t quite the way he pictured things turning out. Not by a long shot.
# # #
“And that’s how it’s done.” Sylvia grinned smugly as she turned off the phone and tapped it against her cheek.
“Good job.” David raised his hand in the air and Sylvia met it with a high-five. David leaned back in his chair and grinned. “How’d Mary take my demise?”
Sylvia chuckled. “By fainting, apparently. Some man answered her cell phone.”
David narrowed his eyes. “Probably Jared. I think Mary’s in love with him.”
“I thought Mary loved you.” Sylvia raised her eyebrows. “Or is the double-timer getting double-timed.”
David snorted. “Nobody cheats on me online.”
“You’re that good.”
“Yep, and you know it.” He folded his arms.
Sylvia walked over and dropped a kiss on top of his head. “You verified the money’s in the bank, right?”
“Yes, got confirmation that the wire transfer went through this morning.” David pulled away and stood. He took a deep breath as he flexed his hands then balled them into fists. “Jared could be trouble.”
“Don’t worry. You didn’t hear the concern in the man’s voice for her. She’s a grief-stricken bride left practically at the altar.” She guided him back into the chair and eased onto his lap. “We’ll be long gone with the money before she realizes it.”
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Phantom Love is copyrighted and cannot be used in any form without permission from Sarah Hamaker.
During her husband’s international career, Lee lived and reared their children in Greece, Saudi Arabia, Argentina, Indonesia, Brazil and Spain. Her visits to 49 countries became material in her novels. The Carvers were volunteer missionaries in the Brazilian Amazon for six years, the hardest and best years of their lives.
What’s the hardest part of writing romantic suspense? Lee: I’m mostly a seat-of-the-pants writer, but suspense has to be carefully plotted or the story will have holes big enough to drive a Mac truck through.
What’s the weirdest way someone has died or been killed in your novels? Lee: Years ago, when I wrote only short stories, a bad guy died on an airplane when the badder guy sloshed on him a solution made from cigarette butts soaked in water. Seriously. Nicotine kills!
How do you research ways to kill someone for your books? Lee: I’m a former biology teacher. I know ways I won’t even talk about.
Where do you get the inspiration for your plots? Lee: When I get an inkling, I need to talk it out with other authors or my husband. He’s a great plotter and beta reader.
Current book: Counterfeit Professor Richard Reed, working with Interpol, thinks he has found an art copyist when he zones in on attractive tourist, Kendra Cooper.
Mary wasn’t surprised when Jared knocked on her back door the next morning. She rinsed out her tea cup. David’s plane landed in five hours, and she had much to do before their wedding in two days. But the pain in Jared’s voice on the show last night had haunted her dreams. She needed to give him one more chance to apologize and explain his actions.
“Hi, Jared.”
Circles underlined the skin under his blue eyes, the small white scar on his forehead a vivid reminder of their shared past.
“Please,” Jared set his foot on the doorjamb, “hear me out.” He stood with a pleading hopeful expression on his face, much like he used to wear when they were kids and he was apologizing for some prank he’d pulled. She hadn’t been able to resist that look years ago, and she wasn’t sure she could now. Gazing at him know, she accepted the reality of how much she had missed his company. She stepped back and motioned him into the kitchen. “I’m listening.”
“I come bearing a peace offering.” With a flourish, he brought his arm from behind his back and presented her with a bouquet of wildflowers.
She reached out and took the flowers, then buried her nose in purple coneflower, bergamot, and great blue lobelia. Memories of them as kids picking many a bouquet like this in the meadow by the creek filled her mind. “You remembered all my favorites.”
“Of course.” He smiled and leaned closer. “There’s not much about you that I’ve forgotten, Mary, Mary, quite contrary.”
She breathed in the sweet scent of the flowers and her body relaxed. Jared touched one of the purple blossoms. “This always reminds me of your eyes on a summer day, the way they would light up like the lightening bugs we chased in my backyard.” Jared gently ran the back of his hand on her cheek. “I’m sorry I hurt you. That’s the last thing I wanted to do.”
Maybe she was being too harsh by excluding him from her life. It wasn’t as if she had an abundance of friends and could afford to lose one. Just because his comment about buying her way to Peru hurt her pride was no reason to not hear his apology.
Mary’s cell phone chirped mid-thought. The sound roused her from across time back to her grandmother’s front porch. She fished it out of her pant pocket and checked caller ID. “Iowa area code. Must be David.”
She wheeled around and answered. “Hello, David? I hope you’re not calling to tell me your plane is delayed.”
# # #
Jared debated waiting for her to finish the call when the phone slipped from her hand, the wildflowers falling after it like rain onto the floor. He stared at the phone and flowers for a split second before his mind grasped what was happening. He whipped his head up and stretched out his arms as Mary crumpled to the ground.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Phantom Love is copyrighted and cannot be used in any form without permission from Sarah Hamaker.
Her Handyman Hero by Lorraine Beatty — Reid Blackthorn arrives in Dover on a personal mission—to make sure his terminally ill brother gets a chance to meet his daughter. Deceiving little Lily’s guardian isn’t his intention. Yet once Tori Montgomery mistakes Reid for her new handyman, he knows it’s the only way to be close to his niece. Tori is honoring her friend’s last wish by keeping Lily away from her father’s family. And once she learns who Reid truly is, she realizes there’s too much at stake—including custody of Lily—for her to fall for the former DEA agent. But in keeping a promise, is she losing out on her chance for a happily-ever-after? (Contemporary Romance from Love Inspired [Harlequin])
Beneath the Summer Sun by Kelly Irvin — It’s been four years since Jennie’s husband died in a farming accident. Long enough that the elders in her Amish community think it’s time to marry again for the sake of her seven children. What they don’t know is that grief isn’t holding her back from a new relationship. Fear is. A terrible secret in her past keeps her from moving forward. Meanwhile, Leo Graber nurtures a decades-long love for Jennie, but guilt plagues him—guilt for letting Jennie marry someone else and guilt for his father’s death on a hunting trip many years ago. How could anyone love him again—and how could he ever take a chance to love in return? (Contemporary Romance from HarperCollins Christian Publishing)
Ain’t Misbehaving by Marji Laine — True, Annalee’s crime amounted to very little, but not in terms of community service hours. Her probation officer encouraged her with a promise of an easy job in an air-conditioned downtown environment. She didn’t expect her role to be little better than a janitor at an after-school daycare in the worst area of town. Carlton Whelen hides behind the nickname of CJ so people won’t treat him like the wealthy son of the Whelen Foundation director. Working at the foundation’s after-school program delights him and annoys his business-oriented father. When a gorgeous prima donna is assigned to his team, he not only cringes at her mistakes but also has to avoid the attraction that builds from the first time he sees her. (Contemporary Romance from Write Integrity Press)
Finding Grace by Melanie D. Snitker — Single dad Tyler Martin can’t be more grateful to the woman who finds his missing daughter. Even though he feels a spark between them, falling in love is a risk he shouldn’t take. Too bad chance encounters and his stubborn heart keep trying to convince him otherwise. After escaping a nightmarish relationship, Beth Davenport is content with her safe and blessedly normal life. Yet something about Tyler and his adorable daughter makes her wish for more. With the walls around her heart finally starting to crumble, she’s afraid of a future she can’t predict. Can they let go of their fear and trust God to lead them to the love they desperately need? (Contemporary Romance, Independently Published)
Marrying Mandy by Melanie D. Snitker — Mandy Hudson swore she’d never marry. Abandoned by her parents and raised by her grandparents, she has a hard time trusting that real love will last. When her grandmother dies, Mandy’s shocked to discover a stipulation in the will. Considering marriage to her best friend may be the only way to keep her family’s beloved bed-and-breakfast. The loss of his job threatens Preston Yarrow’s shaky financial stability. Besides, he can’t watch his best friend give up the only real home she’s ever known. Frustrated by Mandy’s stubborn refusal to let him help, he’s certain they are stronger together than they are apart. A marriage of convenience might be crazy… or an answer to both their prayers. (Contemporary Romance, Independently Published)
Historical:
Son of Promise by Caryl McAdoo — Can a wife find the grace to forgive when her husband’s withheld the truth? Travis Buckmeyer has a secret son, and the morning’s come to tell his sweet wife. He hates breaking Emma Lee’s heart. She promised him one ten years ago, but hasn’t been blessed to carry a baby to term. Every miscarriage made the telling harder, but now his clock’s run out. He’s going for his son, praying he won’t lose her.
Cody knows who his mother claims his father is, but he’s only interested in getting sprung from reform school then boosting enough from the do-gooder to bust out on his own.
Can Travis find redemption, Emma Lee forgiveness, or Cody the love he’s been longing for? (Historical, Independently Published)
Historical Romance:
Hearts Entwined by Mary Connealy, Melissa Jagears, Regina Jennings, and Karen Witemeyer — Four top historical romance novelists team up in this new collection to offer stories of love and romance with a twist of humor. In Karen Witemeyer’s “The Love Knot,” Claire Nevin gets the surprise of her life awaiting her sister’s arrival by train. Mary Connealy’s “The Tangled Ties That Bind” offers the story of two former best friends who are reunited while escaping a stampede. Regina Jennings offers “Bound and Determined,” where a most unusual trip across barren Oklahoma plains is filled with adventure, romance, and . . . camels? And Melissa Jagears’ “Tied and True” entertains with a tale of two hearts from different social classes who become entwined at a cotton thread factory. (Historical Romance from Bethany House [Baker])
A Bouquet of Brides Collection by Mary Davis, Kathleen E. Kovach, Paula Moldenhauer, Suzanne Norquist, Donita Kathleen Paul, Donna Schlachter, and Pegg Thomas — For seven bachelors, this bouquet of brides means a happily ever after. Meet seven American women who were named for various flowers but struggle to bloom where God planted them. Can love help them grow to their full potential? (Historical Romance from Barbour Publishing)
A Mother For His Family by Susanne Dietze —
Lady Helena Stanhope’s reputation is in tatters…and she’s lost any hope for a “respectable” ton marriage. An arranged union is the only solution. But once Helena weds formidable Scottish widower John Gordon, Lord Ardoch, and encounters his four mischievous children, she’s determined to help her new, ever-surprising family. Even if she’s sure love is too much to ask for.
All John needs is someone to mother his admittedly unruly brood. He never imagined that beautiful Lady Helena would be a woman of irresistible spirit, caring and warmth. Or that facing down their pasts would give them so much in common. Now, as danger threatens, John will do whatever it takes to convince Helena their future together—and his love—are for always. (Historical Romance from Love Inspired [Harlequin])
His Forgotten Fiancee by Evelyn M. Hill — Liza Fitzpatrick is stunned when her fiancé finally arrives in Oregon City — with amnesia. Matthew Dean refuses to honor a marriage proposal he doesn’t recall making, but Liza needs his help now to bring in the harvest, and maybe she can help him remember… Matthew is attracted to the spirited Liza, and as she tries to help him regain his old memories, the new ones they’re creating together start to make him feel whole. Even as he falls for her again, though, someone’s determined to keep them apart. Will his memory return in time to save their future? (Historical Romance from Love Inspired [Harlequin])
A Song Unheard by Roseanna M. White — Willa Forsythe is both a violin prodigy and top-notch thief, which makes her the perfect choice for a critical task at the outset of World War I–to secure a crucial cypher key from a famous violinist currently in Wales. Lukas De Wilde has enjoyed the life of fame he’s won–until now, when being recognized nearly gets him killed. Everyone wants the key to his father’s work as a cryptologist. And Lukas fears that his mother and sister, who have vanished in the wake of the German invasion of Belgium, will pay the price. The only distraction he finds from his worry is in meeting the intriguing and talented Willa Forsythe. But danger presses in from every side, and Willa knows what Lukas doesn’t–that she must betray him and find that key, or her own family could pay the same price his surely has. (Historical Romance from Bethany House [Baker])
Mystery:
Surgeon’s Choice by Richard L. Mabry, MD — Dr. Ben Merrick thought his biggest problem was getting his fiancé’s divorced parents into the same room for the wedding–and then, people started dying. (Mystery, Independently Published through White Glove)
Romantic Suspense:
Innocent Lies by Robin Patchen — Desperate to be safe from the man who held her captive and ruined her life, Kelsey must ensure her child is protected before she can take her enemy on. But a string of bad luck gets her arrested and lands her face-to-face with the only man she’s ever loved—the only man who can destroy all her plans. (Romantic Suspense, Independently Published)
Cold Truth by Susan Sleeman — When research chemist Kiera Underwood receives the cryptic phone call about her twin brother, she tries to contact him to no avail. Her twin sense tingles, warning her that something is wrong. Kiera’s not prepared when an attempt is made on her life and Blackwell Tactical operative Cooper Ashcroft delivers her second shock of the day. Someone killed the supervisor at the research lab where her brother works and stole a deadly biotoxin. The main suspect? Her brother, and Blackwell Tactical has been hired to bring him in. If that wasn’t shocking enough, she’s suspected of colluding with him. Setting out to prove herself and her brother is innocent, she is almost abducted before Ashcroft rescues her. He’s faced with the reality that she’s telling the truth and someone has likely abducted her brother—perhaps killed him—and now Kiera’s very life is in danger, too. (Romantic Suspense, Independently Published)
During her husband’s international career, Lee lived and reared their children in Greece, Saudi Arabia, Argentina, Indonesia, Brazil and Spain. Her visits to 49 countries became material in her novels. The Carvers were volunteer missionaries in the Brazilian Amazon for six years, the hardest and best years of their lives.
